| 10th March 2002 - 08:29:44 AM |
| 805 : Jonathan "The Tea-bagger" Cusick |
| anyone want a tea-bagging come see me...
oh and visit my website: www.shitcity.com |
| 10th March 2002 - 08:35:12 AM |
| 806 : Spastic Jonny |
| uhhhhhhhh hrrrrrrrr grrrrrr ahhhhhhh duhhhhhhhh saturns rule! |
| 10th March 2002 - 08:39:24 AM |
| 807 : jonny mcneill |
| i am a fat wee shit |
| 11th March 2002 - 04:45:52 AM |
| 808 : I think, so yeah |
| It has just been confirmed that a disabled shrimp with a squint has been attacked by a teenaged hyena with a curtain pole, who was believed to have something of a fetish for fire extinguishers. This will come as a shock to locals everywhere, who thought that the idea behind the misconception was that caps were to be worn back to front. Be on the look out for an escaped telephone box. Lamposts have been believed to have gone on strike, campaigning for shorter working hours and better pay. Spokesperson for the lamposts' accosiation, Refdhgshjhd Nhgdhgwd, said "Oooooh, suits you!". Employers refused to be interviewed, however. If action isn't taken soon, every sex shop in the land could be forced to close, with the exception, possibly, of those running from the inside of a crisp packet, although nothing is yet certain, except for the abolishment of the inflatable dart board in the brothel, on every day but a Sunday, anyway. A car carrying 34 vicars is believed to have crashed into a gigantic, ferocious castle made of orange tissues. All passengers had to be treated for shock, although none are believed to have been badly injured, albeit for the iguana. A lake in a nearby park was set fire to by a mob of horny old-aged pensioners, in an attempt to increase pension amounts and lower funeral expenses. Needless to say, their efforts did not go to waste, and old people's homes have now all been supplied with 1,000 yamaha motorcycles. The effect that this will have on tic-tac sales has yet to be hypothesised, but it's certain that pianos won't remain for much longer. Enough to shoot peanut butter into the livers of pandas everywhere. |
| 11th March 2002 - 08:26:12 AM |
| 809 : That |
| Eighteen musical armchair covers in and still the rabbit charmer searches for true lust. A green serpent yesterday attempted to ride a penny farthing the wrong way down a chest of drawers in what can only be described as a favour to his neighbour's scart plug. A duck billed platypus today failed to celebrate a milestone when it discovered that antibiotics were only the figment of the imagination of that pair of pink stilletoes you see when fastening your seatbelt. This can coincide with the introduction of dancing kangaroos to liven up tiddlywinks games and not forgetting the customary bus conductor throwing sessions, believed to last several months at a time. This without the minutely pause while the boxing gloves labour under the misapprehension that they are able to limbo blindfolded. Many Cd's found in the 1970s have been confiscated under the new legislation that it is now illegal to listen to any records made by people sporting orange shoulders. There has been uproar and the leaders of various moderately successful dub-folk bands predicting the end of tissue flavoured croutons for the unforseeable future. There seems nothing more to say apart from good riddance to the rubber sounding farmyard emptier, very popular amongst the more backward. |
| 13th March 2002 - 05:17:59 AM |
| 810 : I second this |
| Army tanks are to be fitted out with standard friendly pulley systems, following Government plans to rid empty fields of all guitar playing hypocrites, in a desperate bid to wipe out all forms of orang-utang breeding. Up to the minute feedback confirms that as from eight years ago, it is now compulsory to include morbid sleeping pills in every kind of hyperactive sandwich box, meaning many a travelling drumstick shall end up perched on the outerside of a chocolate muppet vender. An alcoholic earwig is believed to have been hit by a jolly, stampeding drawing pin, which was itself at the centre of great, debatable irony in the form of self-adhesive condoms specially designed for use only during solstice months. It hasn't been unyearningly confirmed, but banging one's great uncle's first love's head vigorously against a wet paper bag is now possibly to become a cure for sleeping bag rummaging, all should be revealed any time before yesterday, provided none are deterred from deciphering severe gashes to the side of the groin, thus relieving all inadequacies regarding sledge hammer patting. A bar has banned soundful music, following a particularly nasty and painful incident in which the ability to leap bounds of air freshener was put under question by a mob of eventful cheetahs. This comes just days after a lovesick fox sporting a compatible, aesthetically pleasing catapult became embedded on the farther side of a highly sensitive straw of life shattering compromise. The war between bathroom scales and your average soap bottle last night came to a dramatic, booming end, when a lap dancer was reported to have become the first train driver to walk, unaided, over dry water tamed only by the sheer indifference of dumb intelligence. Many arrived to watch this blatant understanding of how a clockwork mice finds time to socialise. The weather is expected to travel south in order to indulge in a bevy of masturbating kindly, the reasons why shall become transparent any time after air is made redundant. |
| 13th March 2002 - 10:37:20 PM |
| 811 : Hulk Hogan |
| Hey brother Screech,
You left your vitamins over at my house last night. You probably forgot about them when we were praying. Call me tomorrow so we can train, brother. Whatcha gonna do? |
| 13th March 2002 - 10:39:44 PM |
| 812 : Clearly Embarrassed |
| I'm reading a lot of really hateful emails & thinking to myself how did so many people with nothing good to say about Dustin Diamond arrive at www.dustindiamond.com? I'll chalk it up to morbid curiousity. |
| 14th March 2002 - 06:40:01 AM |
| 813 : andy bowers |
| hey screech good acting,,love that big nose you got too |
| 14th March 2002 - 12:04:43 PM |
| 814 : BOBO |
| WHAT IS THE NAME OF HIS BAND???? (SCREECH) |
| 14th March 2002 - 12:14:05 PM |
| 815 : Kimberly |
| I watch "Saved by the Bell" every morning. You were funny and now I have seen you on "Jenny Jones". I think you look great and am glad to hear that you are doing stand up comedy and have said something about a band. Are you ever in the (Alexandria) Washington D.C. area? I would love to see one of your shows. |
| 14th March 2002 - 12:24:31 PM |
| 816 : Angel |
| dustin diamond rocks i watched him everyday on saved by the bell and
i still do :) |
| 14th March 2002 - 12:40:33 PM |
| 817 : Pogo |
| Alright, who stole the geocities web based site maker? Also Dustin Diamond's band is called Salty the Pocketknife. The site is sad. I really don't believe that it's Dustin Diamond running the site, for some reason I think it would be done in a more professional manner. |
| 15th March 2002 - 08:31:48 AM |
| 818 : Amanda |
| I love the show Saved By the Bell. I watch it every morning before I go to school! |
| 16th March 2002 - 08:07:47 AM |
| 819 : Daz |
| Zoiks |
| 16th March 2002 - 01:33:25 PM |
| 820 : Charissa |
| Dustin was at my college last night and hosted a Kareoke contest. He did an awesome job and look foward to hearing more about him in the future. He's a very talented young man and I know his career will go far. Good job!!
Charissa |
| 16th March 2002 - 01:34:59 PM |
| 821 : Charissa |
| I was the one who wrote the message below. I forgot to include my e-mail address. If you want to reach me. Click on my name.....again, Dustin is very talented.
Charissa |
| 16th March 2002 - 08:44:23 PM |
| 822 : Pman |
| me and my friend levi are starting a dustin diamond tribute ban |
| 16th March 2002 - 08:54:48 PM |
| 823 : LeVI..Pman's friend |
| our band rocks the his-house we miss u screech |
| 16th March 2002 - 11:05:14 PM |
| 824 : Ardadoo |
| FUCK YOU EDDY BONAVISCHE |