| 24th March 2004 - 08:07:13 AM |
| 6861 : saturn |
| i am truly serious about the whole princess peussie thing and how incredibly unfunny she and her gang of high school dropouts obviously are. for the most part, this place used to be pretty funny (albeit in a very queer way), but then the princess (who is likely a he) decided to show up and post messages using a brand of humor that she likely picked up from all the naughty joke books that she and every other teen have read during their junior high years. usually, as you get older, you grow out of that phase and realize how unfunny those books really were, but i guess the princess and her crew of rejects still have a bit more growing up to do. either that or they honestly don't realize how truly unfunny they really are. the fact that they occasionally try to make it their "hilarious stories" topical and "current" only makes it that much more unfunny. some advice to the princess and her entourage: typing out the word "FUCKING" in all caps and using it at least once in ever other sentence does not make you special or funny to anybody here. in case you haven't notice, that method is already done on a pretty consistent basis here in much funnier posts from much funnier people. and although your brand of humor might be funny to 13 year olds, last i checked, dustin diamond hasn't had a 13 year old fan in years, if ever. and if he does, i sincerely doubt that that any of them hang out here. go back to geocities and peddle your shitty stories on yahoo message boards and chat rooms if your really that desperate for a couple extra website hits. |
| 24th March 2004 - 10:26:01 AM |
| 6862 : Benny |
| Hello Mr. Diamond, it is me Benny again. Unfortunately you have not answered any of my last questions which disappoints me but I know you are busy touring the nightclubs trying to make a couple extra bucks because I heard that you hold a steady job at Burger King which doesn't pay much, is that true? Supposedly on your first day on the job you were assaulted by the manager who just so happened to be the gay comedian Andy Dick, is that true? My friend says Mr. Dick pulled out his cock and told you to suck it and said it was part of your training but you wouldn't suck it so he bent you over the counter and raped you using mayonnaise as lubrication and when he climaxed in your butt he said that now you know what the secret ingredient in the special sauce is, is that true? I heard that you tried to press charges the next day only to find out that Andy really didn't work there and had pulled a fast one on you by showing up to your job dressed as a BK manager, is that true too? Does that mean his salty semen really isn't the secret ingredient in the special sauce? |
| 24th March 2004 - 04:26:54 PM |
| 6863 : Chachi |
| Chach lurking about and ready to leave a fart blast on anyone who disrespects the double dog's honor! DA CHACH |
| 24th March 2004 - 06:46:44 PM |
| 6864 : ballsout |
| I wish I could smell screech's sweaty socks until I pass out with desire... Oh GOD, I'm so fucking horny.... |
| 24th March 2004 - 06:54:38 PM |
| 6865 : Dustins Mom |
| http://www.porcavacca.it/10bukkake001.jpg |
| 24th March 2004 - 07:07:22 PM |
| 6866 : Dicks are for chicks |
| http://www.pinkworld.com/ |
| 24th March 2004 - 07:21:50 PM |
| 6867 : demon lover |
| Just recently I put an ad in a paper and got lots of response but not sure I they take me seriously. Let me know, boys! THANKS!!!! Horny versatile Redneck up for anything from making whacky and whacked offlove to hard sleazy sessions with even the family dogs or a cow or two. I’m a redneck faggot, devotee of Michael and his THROAT OF GOLD, A THRILLER-DILLER IN BED, that loves raw man-meat to man sex to peanut butter on bricks (YEH???THAT SMELL LIKE PEANUT BUTTER???) - very open minded ABOUT BUSH AND WAR... and versatile to all male sex including your fucking asshole wives if they are lesbians "I like lesbians" (Smiles, turds), and bring the kids as I love fresh assholes and armpits, really into sucking, fucking, rimming, and getting filled with prune juice during colonics. I enjoy eating a man's hole, fisting, heavy duty ass play, dildo's/toys, felching, "dwarfing", anything a man can put in either his asshole or mine. I have a hot urinal mouth for piss play, kink, rough ball play, cbt, rough tit play, uncut cocks, cheesy foreskins dripping with shit and cum globs, hispanic men who can pull their foreskins over their heads ON THEIR SHOULDERS, JERKS...., uniforms with holes in the pants and shirts and socks and shoes, stained jockstraps, boots, rape-tools and garden equipment including shovels and spades, forced sex and being gagged with more than two cocks at once, groups, spit, dripping and nasty man pits, raunch, bb, very few if any limits. I don't play with anything that I can't put my face in first. Very friendly, I know how to party and have a good time. My best friends call me Tracy but I usually go by the name Robin or Martha. I enjoy outdoor sex, bathroom sex as long as there's no toilet paper to be seen, bookstore sex, YEH sex with books, bathhouses, sex just about anywhere I can get it. (I carry toys with me if you don’t have them) The kinkier and raunchier, the better. I get off on playing with wicked minded men who have a great imagination and many fantasies. Are you man enough? Let's get together and hold hands and walk in the moonlight, and hear those wonderful screams in the night. I love spending a long weekend at Michael's NEVERDOWELL RANCH..and he him 'sing for his dinner'...all that brown stuff in that steaming yellow sauce! Oh yes, I believe that one should say Grace before one eats anything. |
| 24th March 2004 - 08:46:14 PM |
| 6868 : Anibal Trejo |
| Nice |
| 24th March 2004 - 09:54:15 PM |
| 6869 : kim |
| You Screeeeeeeeeeeeech!!!!!! |
| 25th March 2004 - 12:47:18 AM |
| 6870 : billy elliot |
| benny is the story you told true? i wasn't aware that dustin diamond worked at Burger King. i always figured that he was flipping burgers at mcdonalds or pumping gas at a gas station (when he isn't touring packed 25-person capacity auditoriums with his band!). |
| 25th March 2004 - 06:40:14 AM |
| 6871 : Babeco |
| maldito hijo de puta cabronazo, eras y eres un actor de mierda. Que ha sido de ti? cabron! Ya te has muerto hijo de putaaaaa!!!! |
| 25th March 2004 - 08:53:19 AM |
| 6872 : Jerry Slummer |
| Hi everyone, I just joined the newest Dustin Sex Club here in the LA area, and sending you the inititation info in case you are wild enough to join. We can count OUT the Kurt's and other jerks, smarmy drizzle shits, but just contact me if you like. Here it is. The pledges are marched into the torture chamber, being forced to skip as high as possible to "March of the Chocolate Soldier", an embarrassing experience in itself, and then down to the damp, dark and nasty basement over piles of dog turds and past walls dripping with sperm and vagina smears. They are lined up along the wall opposite uncomfortable chairs made of hickory wood and thorns, that have been arranged to face them, and they are told to "prepare their assholes for a serious exam" on a strip of cardboard boxes just sitting there like some Xmas tree left-overs. The lights are turned off, except for those pointed directly at the pledges, little spotlight trained upon the flacid sex organs, some beginning to perk up and look happy, and the Ranch hands take seats to watch the beginning of the ritual that marks the opening of pledge week, accompanied by much laughter at the pledge-boys trying to tongue-fuck each other, do the "Skip the weed" game, and hold more than 25 ice cubes up each of their butt-holes while running in a large dark circle. "Shit, I like to see these fuckers put through their worst sex nightmares", said one Ranch hand named Pig-fart. The lead Master with his golden locks and shaved scrotum, the membership chairman known as "Mimoo-Chocha, and the pledge master take turns addressing the pledges. The pledges are reminded repeatedly of the meaning of brotherhood and their duty to give completely of themselves, without boudaries, without giving a shit what will happen next even though they may be circumcized again and again with little pinking shears or with nail clippers, in order to prove their worth to be initiated into membership of the MJ Neverdowell Ranch, the following weekend. Among many other things, brothers are always loyal to one another's arm pits and never hide any cum sauce from their assholes or from one another including the toilet paper during one of those massive colonic celebrations when garden hoses are used for enema purposes and gin and tonics are poured into the waiting enema bags. And so, in order to get things started properly and off to a very amusing start--and in order to impress upon them how completely and entirely they must give themselves over to the house and the ranch hands desires--the pledges are required to get out of their little panties, while holding both hands over their heads. Hesitation is perceived, somewhat more than observed with not just a few pledges releasing urine into their panties with some of the yellow drips running down their legs and onto the turd-covered floor, and the pledges are again reminded that they have nothing to hide from those whom they would call "Shaft-buckets" or "Big Man IN" or even names like "Little Fly-by-night TURD". There are no fancy boys (those flaming little fags found only in Dustin's kitchen and around his bed during the sucking sessions) in attendance; there should be no problem undressing in front of those Masters with whom they will share all the filthy and sinful intimacies of THE DORM OF THE CULI, as they live and love together, sharing their lube bottles and vaseline jars along with making of gallons of poppers and snort, in the close confines of the bunk house; and if they have any reservations about submitting themselves totally to their brothers, they do not deserve to complete the rituals of torture, castration, skipping rope, dwarfing, ball cruntching, etc.. At last the pledges undress, quietly and quickly while a few Masters attack them with bull-whips and lances, some boys so nervous they fall over on their butts and are immediately stabbed in the groin. Their ruined clothing is collected, sorted into tubs of sulphuric acid, then whisked out of sight by the slaves of Madre Loki, those having been flown in for the event from Hawaii. The smell of lust and desecration fills the air. The pledges, now naked, are addressed by some of the other Masters, those dressed in long flowing gown with lillies in their hair and the clods of dirt within their pubic hair, probably from various sex-picnics at the pic trough.. These young boys stand at attention and listen to such outbursts as "Well, you little asswipes, YOU think you're going to get a fresh start with MY asshole and those silly little tongues of yours? When I'm through with you, you'll all look like you've been dragged through the sewage system and backwards." They are given a wholly inadequate preview of the events of the upcoming week, but none of it matters except for the fact that they must all stand naked and at attention, until, for whatever irrelevant reason, one of them begins to show an erection, one stretched to its limits. He is congratulated for being the first to prove that he is not ashamed of his body in the presence of his Masters who stroke his rod furiously then tie it up, surrounding its head and shaft with wet, drying noodles, and at this point the pledges are told some of the more unusual rules and contests for the coming week, such as "The Donkey Piss Contest". Most pertinent, for the moment, is that they are expected to sleep nude all week out in the snow, to wear no underwear until after they are initiated, and to wear no clothing at any time while they are in the ranch or bunk house or near THE KING OF ROCKS AND ROLLS. Several of the pledges show arousal by this point, and all the pledges are called front and center, one at a time, to have their cocks measured. Those who are already erect are taken first, which fosters sympathetic erections in some of the others.Those boys with no or minimal erections are tied to the wall, while Masters beat the cocks into "attention". One can hear the tears of remorse for miles. The rest are informed that they need to be measured before the ritual may continue, and that they must do whatever is necessary to help the process along, even if that means being chewed upon by MJ's rottweiler puppies. Each pledge's measurement is recorded with crayons and lipstick on a large slab of poster board, with several columns left for future measurements and for "Torture endurance at its best" results. Finally, the pledges are blindfolded. Over the blindfolds are wrapped large amounts of duct tape. They are told that this is necessary for the ritual, which must take place in the ROOM OF HORROR, which they are by no means permitted to see until they are initiated as full members in good standing. They are also instructed that, as mere pledges, they are not permitted to speak, sing any of the KING's songs or fart while in the shower, inside the ROOM OF HORROR, at any time--save for repeating the litany of the blood-oath of passion and thirst, of romance and smells. Once blindfolded, the pledges are given vodka shots down the throats and up the asses with large tubing They must toast their loyalty to the "Stains on the Wall" and the "Writings on the Toilet Seats". Naked and blindfolded, bleeding and in love with the event and with that penis connected to the guy behind each one, trying to enter a hungry hold, the pledges are taken, via an arduous and confusing route (as much as possible within the close confines of the bunk house) to the ROOM OF TORTURE up in the attic. They cannot see it, of course, but blackout curtains cover the windows, and the room is lit only by candles. Yet they can smell the candles and will feel their heat whenever they pass close by and when the wax is poured over their pricks and nuts, during the course of the ritual. The pledges are left standing at the back of the room, by the stairway, for the moment, as the brothers take their ordained places and begin to chant and dance around like a pack of lunatics at the Xmas Tree Celebration in the White House, singing "Bring on the Crisco, and Bring on the Boys". The pledges are called forward, one by one, in alphabetical order. Each is assigned two big and very nasty slave-masters, who are named 493770002789723, which must be remembered by the slaves or they are whipped for hours, but who will identify themselves to him in the coming days only as "Betty" and "Virginia". The big brothers stand beside the pledge/slave, who is gagged and commanded to keep silent, "no groans or whimpers or YOU DIE" and submit to what must be done. The procedure is not announced, so that each succeeding pledge will not know what is happening to his body--only that it is something deemed to be an important secret, with obvious pain and permanent stains, holes and smears. The big Masters then proceed to take a semen sample from each pledge, jacking him off into a test tube, which is carefully labeled and set aside for drinking (though the pledges do not know this). Even if the pledge fails to keep silent during this ordeal, it is never forgiven, so long ass so (hey, did someone write this true story when stoned or just fucked on the opiate drinks given to the slaves?) that the remaining pledges will be all the more apprehensive, when it is their turn. When all the pledges have yielded their jizz samples, they are formed into a circle, in a deliberately random order then told to bend over for an anal inspection with the darkest and dirtiest hole given an immediate enema of hot coffee or cocoa, with the inner globs allowed to shoot out on the other slave-boys. "We have taken your measure, turds," the lead master solemnly informs them, "and now you must take the sacred oaths of pride and devotion and love and panic: "Now repeat those four words after me or you will again be fucked silly". "You stand in a circle. To your right is one of your power-masters; you do not know which it is but you may call him "Betty" or even "Judy", for that is of no importance. To your left is another of your masters, and you call him "Cindy" or "Candy Cane"; you do not know which it is, for that is of no importance to us and your rewards will be those of severe branding and catheter insertions. The Big Boy to your right represents all of your Mastlers, little turds; the Big Boy to your left also represents all of your Gods of the Bedroom and Bath. As you take the oaths with each other, you share the oaths with each and every one of your fellow shit-boys." The slaves are reminded that they must say or do nothing that might reveal their own identity to either of their neighbors. Then they are instructed to reach to the right, to find the penis of this Master, even if that cock is covered with feces and piss, to take hold of it, firmly and confidently, stroking it and attempting to make it rock-hard in case this Masters wishes to bend his slave and fuck him at that moment--for there is no shame in what must be done to sanctify the filth on the floor, and the jizz dripping from the walls and the ceiling--and to lift the Master's penis to point upward as if the cock was smiling upon the event. Then they must reach to the left, just below the hand that is holding that Master's penis, and similarly, but gently, grasp that Master's testicles. The link produced around the entirety of the circle, is a double "Fudge-packers Circle" if there are an even number of slaves; a "Moebius" "Jerkie-Benders Phallus", if an odd number. (The odd number is slightly preferred, but, because it cannot have been guaranteed how many of the bids would be accepted that night, this cannot be controlled but guarentees that someone will be gang raped before the night is out.) The shit-boys are then informed that what they are doing is nothing sexual, with the cocks rock-hard and ready for action, oozing pre-cum, but merely the most fundamental symbol of the depth of their mutual perversions, their need to suck cock and get fucked until their butt-holes would sing Xmas carols, in one another, which forges an inseparable swollen gland here and there. Laughter usually accompanies all of this. The oaths are a so much bullshit, but the slaves know no better and think this is for real, when in fact it's just an excuse to get their panties down and their bodies prepared for some serious and much needed Master Sex. One or more of the Masters recites a line such as "Winkie Willy, Plop odor lim dim" or even the more famous "Yikes little Tykes, We'll get fuckered on our bikes"; and the pledges must repeat it in full voice, trying to singing it to the tune of "Over the Rainbow and through the Woods". This is the only time that they can grab another cocks or balls or even put their fists into another asshole, in the room, until after their torture sessions, which go on for over a year. They must never release their grasps on their neighbors' genitals until the bullshit is completed, and it lasts for quite some time depending upon the moods and amusements of the Masters and attendants. A candle is lit for each line of the oath, but it is quite a while before even the most astute of the pledges realize this, with the candle wax then being poured over the balls of every slave. In the darkness, the circle is broken and anal canals are entered while chests are massaged and pricks stroked to orgasm, and the brothers come forward for the ritual of Madre Loki, as written down by Dustin Diamond according to the wishes of GOD, THE TRUE KING OF ROCKS OFF. The pledges are accepted as Masters by a kiss from each of the pet rattle snakes. And with the snake-kiss or vicious bite comes a touch somewhere upon the pledge's naked body preferably UNDER the nuts between the scrotum and the anal opening. Even the brothers do not know where others choose to touch the slaves, for this part of the ritual is only performed in utter darkness and using sharp knives, probes, kitchen spoons, garden hoses, electric cattle prods, etc.. They can only remember where it was that they were touched, when they themselves were new fuckie-boys. All leave the attic in the darkness and prepare for a night of celebration and orgies, with the ceremony opening: the ever increasingly painful screams in the night. +++++++++++++++++++++ |
| 25th March 2004 - 09:20:37 AM |
| 6873 : lavitz |
| yeah, nice cut & paste job there jerry, you gay ass poser. i would hereby nominate you "the unfunniest homo ever" if screech didn't already hold that title. |
| 25th March 2004 - 12:07:10 PM |
| 6874 : boner |
| you fucking homo wut is with this site? go rent sum gay porn or something...eat a dick.. |
| 25th March 2004 - 01:16:35 PM |
| 6875 : Princess Peussie |
| HI, TURDS! |
| 25th March 2004 - 02:24:51 PM |
| 6876 : jumbo |
| IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT KURT HAD A MINI-PENIS AND THAT SPEARS IS A DRIED UP SLUT GIRL. WHO CARES? WITH THE COUNTRY GOING DOWN THE TOILET YOU FUCKERS TALK ABOUT SOME DUMBASS TURDS FROM SEATTLE. GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU NITWITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU'RE ALL MENTALLY IMPAIRED LITTLE GIRLIES................ |
| 25th March 2004 - 10:41:10 PM |
| 6877 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Pricess (or shall I call you by your alias, Jumbo?), you think I have a mini-penis? Why don't you cum over to my place and I'll show you just how "mini" my rod is! You'll get lockjaw when you try to fit my huge johnson in your mouth. After you're done sucking me off, I'll take a dump on your head and give you a Dirty Sanchez that looks just like Diamond's neatly-trimmed beard! - Kurt Steinberg |
| 26th March 2004 - 03:51:02 AM |
| 6878 : Tommy |
| office-products |
| 26th March 2004 - 04:49:52 AM |
| 6879 : Ilona Huijsmans |
| hi, I'm from the Netherlands and I love Dustin Diamond 4-evah!!!! Kisses Ilona |
| 26th March 2004 - 05:55:36 AM |
| 6880 : Tommy |
| pets |
