| 22nd June 2006 - 02:50:53 AM |
| 78039 : here\'s an idea |
| lets set up a site with a url similar to dustin's shirt site that sells shirts that say "i paid to put dustin out of his house" all of the funds could be put towards more dustin homosexual/hate sites and into a legal fund to help the broker he's slandering sue his ass off. |
| 22nd June 2006 - 05:07:01 AM |
| 78040 : GW Bailey |
| Hey Screech! Do you remember when you were approached to do Mannequin III: On the run, following on from box office flop Mannequin II? Remember how they couldn't afford Andrew McCarthy or Kim Cattrall? Remember how your name was Jonathan "Midas" Switcher, so called because you were a pretenious "shop dress artist" who loved to dress up in women's clothes and dress up mannequins in sexually awkward positions, which - for some odd unknown reason, would wow the lobotimised shoppers who'd walk pass your crappy mall on a daily basis? Remember how your Mannquein came to life and it was a man? Remember how Hollywood Montrose, the black guy, caught you with your pants down and the mannquin's hands were on your pants and Montrose quipped "At least he'll never tell you that your asshole is too fat." and then clicked his fingers for like five minutes for no apparant reason, before leaving by saying "Mmmm". Remember how you looked at him as if he were on crack or something? Remember how the production team convinced GW Bailey and his pet dog Rambo to return to true comic-relief fashion by making prat falls and witty remarks about how scared Rambo was of Mannequins? Remember how GW Bailey was chasing you through the mall yelling "SWITCHER!!!!!!" at the top of his lungs as if you were a convicted felon? Remember how you don't remember why you were running from Bailey, or indeed why he was chasing you? Remember how you thought he didn't take the joke about his eyebrows being taken off in Police Academy One all that well? Remember how Bailey caught your man-manquein shoving it's plastic todger up your brownpipe and Bailey proclaimed "You are one... sick... puppy!" whilst Rambo did his trademark "Sieg Heil" paw raise thing and ran off barking like a dog? Remember how the dummy asked "Can you believe this dummy? And I'm the one made out of wood!" and you replied "Well I have some wood too!" and you two started to make out in the hammock whilst the song "Nothin's gonna stop us now" was filling the cinema? Remember how there was a shot of Bailey hurling in the background and yelling "PROCTOR!" and it was obviousily re-recorded, much like the end of "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes" and he was saying "Rambo!" instead, and it didn't match what he was saying? Remember how later on in the film you were on the run because Bailey framed you for the assassination of Mannequin billionaire tycoon, Phil Rubenstein? Remember how Bailey was gonna turn your mannquein into shreds by shoving it into a paper shredder? Remember how you saved the mannquein to the awful power ballad "I need a hero!" by swinging on a vine from the world's highest floor to the paper shredder and saved your man-manequin from recieving a paper cut? Remember how at that very instant the mannquein came alive for no reason other than plot expidency? Remember how the model said "You know what you need to do right now? You need to put this whole nasty affair out of your mind. Now, how is the best way to do that, huh? Huh? By having a night of distastable sex with someone you care absolutely nothing about! And proudly, I would like to be that hobo." Remember how you accepted and the mannequin started to dump its plastic load down the many ravages of your HIV+ infected shit-hole? Remember after the many shared loads you laid back and proclaimed "Switcher is the wind!" Remember how a fully fledged Delta Force team suddenly bust through the windows and door out of nowhere and totally out of the blue shoved a shotgun right in your face and Bailey proclaimed "I GOT YOU NOW SWITCHER!"? Remember how the mannequin kicked Bailey in the balls and said that Bailey was responsible for kidnapping him? Remember how the police totally believed the mannequin out of all context and took Bailey to the funny farm whilst he screamed "HE'S THE DUMMY! HE'S THE DUMMY!"? Remember how Rambo hilariousily saluted the mannequin with a stiffy? Remember how you got a pitched tent too? Remember how you took the mannequin and the dog back home to spit-roast heaven? Remember how the mannequin, pulling out of your colon whispered in your ear that he had a secret and he wanted to share it with you? Remember how the mannequin moved your hair away from your ear and whispered that it was HE that killed the Mannequin tycoon Phil Rubenstein and you did it so that all the mannequin's could live free, free like the wind, and would be therefore free to RULE The world? Remember how you suddenly got a vision of scary looking plastic men walking the streets of London shooting people with lasers in their plastic hands in a scene that was obviousily lifted from that Doctor Who episode which scared you as a kid? Remember how the mannequin donkey punched you and began to rape the bejesus out of you, only stopping to make a loud, evil manical laugh directly into the camera as it zoomed into the eyes of the mannequin and the scene faded to black? Remember how a voice suddenly said "Now let's make babies!" and the last words of this dreadful movie was your famous catchphrase, ie: "ZOIIIINKS!"? That sure tought you to mess with mannequin's! |
| 22nd June 2006 - 07:41:11 AM |
| 78041 : Captain Useful |
| So to summarize, Screech is about the world's biggest loser right now, is hated by everyone, and the only way he can redeem himself is to apologize publicly for his conduct, ditch the fake wife, come out, and take up a lucrative career in the gay porn industry. So do it Screech, you fucking tool!! |
| 22nd June 2006 - 07:56:56 AM |
| 78042 : Rusty Trombone |
| Hey again Screech. I just can't keep away from Denny's right now. It seems every time I go there I find some kind of action. Last night it was a homeless dude out back of a nearby branch. He was a middle-aged black guy called Tobias. Inevitably, I asked if he fancied making a quick buck, and as always, and inevitably, he jumped at the chance. So I told him to lie down on the pavement, and open his mouth and close his eyes and he would get a big suprise. He did so, and the big suprise was me dropping a deuce in his mouth. I've been on a high-fiber diet recently and it fucking stank, but he gobbled it down like the hungry dog he was. Then I straddled his face and stuck my balls in his mouth, one thing lead to another, and I came on his face and in his lank, flea-infested hair. He looked ashamed with my thick white ropes streaking his face, but he still had the tenacity to say "where's my money, motherfucker??". That's when I said "I'm not done yet", and flipped him over and pulled down his filthy shit and piss stained pants. Using a nearby discarded coathanger I prized his asshole open and used the wire to shoehorn my still-hard cock deep inside him. After a few chafing pumps, he squealed like a little girl and started to bleed; I was so turned on I shot my second load deep inside him. My balls were aching from the consecutive orgasms so I decided to take my leave of this smelly piece of shit, and I took out a dollar bill and shoved it deep inside his gaping, cum-filled rectal cavity. |
| 22nd June 2006 - 08:00:17 AM |
| 78043 : Skeletor |
| Hey Screech, Remember your chance encounter with Skeletor on the set of the sub-bar hit movie Masters of the Universe (1987)? Remember how you smarly asked him if he "thought was overacting"? Remember how you snooted when Skeletor replied "No! I was the best thing in this movie!" Remember how he got really upset with you when you kept pestering Skeletor about his repressed homosexual feelings for He-Man? Remember how you tugged on his blue cape demanding to know if Gwildor tasted good and you begged Skeletor for He-man's earth address so you could hook up with him and let him save you from the various torments of your Saved by the Bell bullies? Remember how he said "I'm not in the giving mood today!"? Remember how you tried to donkey punch him in the gut and he barked "Not the way to treat your beloved ruler!" and smacked you against your bushy hair? Remember how he snarled "I ache to SMASH MY MEAT INTO YOUR BONY ASS AND DRIVE YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE! To DRIVE your cursed face FROM MY MEMORIES FOREVER!" b |
| 22nd June 2006 - 08:08:09 AM |
| 78044 : Skeltor |
| before dropping tro' and ripping off your cursed zubaz pants? Remember how he calmly said "Everything comes to he who waits... and I have waited so very long for this moment." Remember how you murmed: "You don't dare... I'll tell my mommy!" Remember how Skeletor retorted "I DARE ANYTHING! I am Skeletor! It is my destiny! It is my right! NOTHING shall deter me from it!" Remember how you thought you were clever when you said "Men who crave power look back on the mistakes of their lives. Pile them altogether and call it destiny."? Remember how Skeletor laughed and replied "Thank you for that "bit of philosophy, Screech. Here is my response!" and slapped you right across your face with the back of his hand, leaving a bright red bruise? "People of Earth! I stand before the Great Anus of the Screech. Chosen by destiny by the powers of homosexuality! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as Screech himself bears witness to it. Now. I, Skeletor, am Master of Screech's Universe!" |
| 22nd June 2006 - 08:14:35 AM |
| 78045 : Skeletor |
| Remember how Skeletor unvieled his "Sword of Greyskull" and yelled "Yes, Screech! The Sword of Greyskull! In your ass... Now, and forever!" Remember how he rubbed his unlubed cock against your unwilling anus and you whimppered like a dog? Remember how he whispered in your ear "How sensitive you are! Can you feel - THIS?" just as he shoved his bone right up there and you cried out loud? Remember how he bumbed and grinded your ass? Remember how he said "YES! Yes... I feel it, the hole... fills me. Yes, I feel Screech's universe within me! I am... I am a part of his cosmos! The cream flows... Flows through him!"? Remember how he snarled "Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! Screech's bum universe is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! and I am that force! I am that power!" Remember how he left your anus and replied under his breath that he had left "Your precious anus left hanging like an old crone. Weak. Withering. Dying....Are you ready to kneel now, proud warrio |
| 22nd June 2006 - 08:21:53 AM |
| 78046 : Skeletor |
| Remember how he pulled out and demanded you "KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER!"? Remember how you didn't? Remember how he yelled "Fool! you are no longer my EQUAL! I am more than man! MORE THAN LIFE! I... am... a... GOD!" before unleashing his man juice all over your winy face? Remember as the bukkake cream covered your face he yelled "Now. You... will... KNEEEEEL! KNEEEEL!" before laser beams came out of his eyes? You sure got screwed became "Master of the Universe" that day! |
| 22nd June 2006 - 09:59:04 AM |
| 78047 : |
| oh shit, my buddy who lives in wisconsin just told me that dustin has died of the superaids. I really hope this isn't true. |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:08:55 AM |
| 78048 : diamondcutter |
| If Dustin is dead, his fake wife better give back all of the money from the t-shirts!!! |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:16:48 AM |
| 78049 : SBTB fan |
| 78047: yes I've just heard the news as well. Apparently dustin was so desperate to save his house that he went out and started servicing random men for money. but he was too poor to afford any protection, so inevitably he developed full-blown superaids and now he is with the angels. :( i am too shocked and saddened to write more. but I hope today is made a national day of mourning. |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:22:40 AM |
| 78050 : Lance |
| Diamond is "with the angels"??? I always thought he was a tool of teh devil, like most jews. |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:26:40 AM |
| 78051 : RIP dustin |
| oh shit is screetch reealy dead? did he get superaids from Mr belding? or was it milo the janitor? don't go into the light screech!!! |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:31:54 AM |
| 78052 : dustin 4 ever |
| shit guys this is serious. I just saw mark paul goselar on the news saying how sad dusitn's passing was. but he said it was also pretty hilarious that dustin died with several liters of hiv+ semen sloshing around in his lower intestine. How insensitive. |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:39:28 AM |
| 78053 : Gay Zack |
| I want to take a huge steaming shit on Dustin's corpse and bring along Hound Dog to devour Dustin's entrails. I hope all you will join us for a good time. |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:39:32 AM |
| 78054 : Vic Alex |
| Buy cigarettes HERE the cheapest prices!!! I SWEAR Marlboro cigarettes .99 http://www.buy-cigarettes-online.biz http://buy-cigarettes.com.md/ http://cigarette-store.tripod.com/ |
| 22nd June 2006 - 10:44:00 AM |
| 78055 : John Poo |
| Is it true that super crappy sci-fi actioneer "Paycheck" had a plot stolen from your anal adventures? Is it true that rather than looking at the edge of the universe and we look into the deep dark bowels of your spread wide ass cheeks we can look into a post-apolopytic future where you rule all under your tyrannical dictatorship with posters of your face in profile and where everyone issues prayers to the "Screech on high" and say "ZOINKS" rather than ah-men? |
| 22nd June 2006 - 11:49:23 AM |
| 78056 : Rocco |
| If Max had given me mod access that actually worked that spam from Vic Alex would already be gone. Vic suck my balls, no one wants your chinese made dog feces filled cigs! ROCCO |
| 22nd June 2006 - 11:51:27 AM |
| 78057 : SHADOW |
| WHATS WRONG WITH ALL YOU HATERS THE MAN MADE A LIVING THATS IT HE IS A ACTOR AND YOU FKS WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT THE MAN NO LIFE FKS YOU WISH YOU WHERE HIM JUST LEAVE THE MAN ALONE YOU NASTY LITTLE FKS |
| 22nd June 2006 - 11:58:18 AM |
| 78058 : Vic Alex hater |
| I want to pump my semen all over your greasy mullet!!!! |