| 11th July 2006 - 09:26:46 AM |
| 78450 : Maxwell Nerdstrom |
| ...not to mention that I also wanna give you a "Brown Baby Boy", a "Stink Flute", an "Anglepoise Lamp", a "Cheesy Mushroom" and an "Ooh-La-LA!". Please get in touch, I've recently learnt how to do a "Sweetcorn Bishop" and I'm dying to try out my skills. Call me!!! |
| 11th July 2006 - 09:36:46 AM |
| 78451 : Dumb Jock from Season #3 |
| Hi Screech. I want to tell you that night where I pumped your ass so hard was great; but I was worried that a little over 9 minutes later you gave birth to a big brown still-born baby, it sure stunk. Please tell me if the baby lived or whether it was true what the janitor tells me, that you flushed it down the loo... I was hoping to raise it as my own. |
| 11th July 2006 - 11:24:12 AM |
| 78452 : Andre Harvey |
| Hi Dustin Saw you on The View the other day, thought you were great! I didn't know you were doing stand-up but I imagine your live show is kick-ass! Anyway, sorry to hear about your financial difficulties, all the guys from school are all chipping in a few bucks to buy on of the bricks on your site, we'll also all be getting "D-Shirts" to wear and spread the word! By the way, how come there's so much crazy perverted posts on your forum here? Doesn't this kind of thing bug you? I guess it's all part of the comedy act! Cheers Dustin Andre Harvey |
| 11th July 2006 - 12:09:33 PM |
| 78453 : Tiffany |
| hey Dustin- loved you on "saved by the bell" i'd like yo buy a tee to help ya, can ya tell me where to go to do that? Tiff |
| 11th July 2006 - 12:13:26 PM |
| 78454 : Jeffy |
| Hi, My name is Jeffy and I Love apples and Screech's Butt !!!!! |
| 11th July 2006 - 01:55:36 PM |
| 78455 : |
| Why do you dumb fucks buy into Dustins story. Here are some facts - his fiancee has a docotorate in genetic engineering, she chooses not to work to "manage" Dustin's career, yet I've heard he has the same managment as the comedian Ant. Several years ago they both stated that they were married, now they aren't, they're just engaged. Dustin squandered his Saved by the Bell money. Dustin must be squandering his comedy apperance money. He has 2 brand new expensive SUVS in his driveway. He's losing his house because he got into a land contract not fully understanding that at anytime the remainder of the loan could be called in. What was done to him was not illegal. Dustin should have been smart enough to try to get a mortgage after signing this land contract to secure his home. Basically his contract was like a rent to own, only the owner found he could make more money in one day selling the propety than monthly payments from Dustin. Don't buy into his scam and don't buy into this jackasses story. He's a LIAR! |
| 11th July 2006 - 02:31:41 PM |
| 78456 : Jimmy Phatcockstuffer |
| Is this a message board for gay bummers and felchers? By the way, i have banged dustin so many times in the ass, he cant even shat anymore! |
| 11th July 2006 - 02:57:14 PM |
| 78457 : |
| http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/1081/screechshirt0eu.jpg |
| 11th July 2006 - 03:15:35 PM |
| 78458 : Gay Zack |
| Hey Jimmy, would you like to pump my ass with HIV+ semen? If you fucked Screeches ass, you no doubt have the AIDS virus. |
| 11th July 2006 - 06:32:18 PM |
| 78459 : |
| Hey Diamond, did Belding always bellow like a hippo every time he blew his load down your throat? I read some "remember when" stories where that happened. |
| 11th July 2006 - 07:03:41 PM |
| 78460 : johnny |
| What's all this I'm hearing about DUSTIN DIAMOND's schlong?? He has a ten-incher?? IN HIS DREAMS!!! SCREECH has a tiny 2 incher, and everyone knows it! |
| 11th July 2006 - 07:34:16 PM |
| 78461 : Rocco |
| Diamond, I heard that after your appearance on the view you went out and celebrated by picking up a few ratty homeless guys in the limo the View had provided you. I heard that you took their smelly bum asses back to the seedy hotel you were staying in with the one and only Mr. Belding! I heard that the two of you celebrated your success on the View by sniffing glue and having a wild homoerotic orgy with the bums. Is it true that you paid one of the bums 5 dollars to eat a bunch of Taco Bell then spray you with the diareah so you could feel like Slater was with you? Sounds hot, hope you filmed it you hook nosed toilet waste! ROCCO |
| 12th July 2006 - 12:15:47 AM |
| 78462 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, has anyone ever eaten Mexican food from Chipotle and then given you a face-full of feces? Or is it always Taco Bell-fueled diarrhea? I would think that Slater and Belding would want to mix things up a bit, but I just want to be certain. Please get back to me soon, buddy, as this is an important and serious question! |
| 12th July 2006 - 12:31:29 AM |
| 78463 : Kurt Steinberg |
| The comments to this blog need to be queered up: http://7d.blogs.com/solidstate/2006/07/diamonds_are_fo.html "Diamonds are Forever. I'm planning on putting together a full San Francisco update, but for the meantime, dig this: Brooke and I were hanging out on the docks (no jokes please) when we happened upon a sidewalk sign for some comedy club called the Green Room. Neither of us had actually ever been to such a place, but that's beside the point. What really caught our attention (actually Brooke's) was the picture on the marquee. "Is that Screech?" she asked, squeezing my arm. Indeed, it was. Dustin Diamond, star of TV's "Saved by the Bell" was staring back at us from the board. The show, which featured only one opening act, started at 8:30 p.m. At that moment it was around 6. While I was intrigued by the idea of checking out Screech's stand-up, we had some time to kill, and I was getting hungry. "Let's go get something to eat first, and if we're feeling up to it, maybe we can go see the show," I said. It was agreed. Dinner was consumed, and margaritas guzzled. Walking back past the club, we again paused before Diamond's unmistakable visage. I was still on the fence, but Brooke pushed me over it with gusto. "We have to go see him," she said. "If we don't, we'll end up torturing ourselves wondering what it was like." She had a point. We weaved through the human detritus to the club entrance, where a gussied-up chick was standing behind some kind of podium. This was the Gatekeeper. Suddenly it dawned on me that this was a real show, where they, like, charge admission. "What if it's too expensive?" I asked Brooke. "Should we set a limit?" she replied. We decided on twenty bucks, which turned out to be the ticket price. Kinda steep. But at that moment Screech himself walked by. "How was your hamburger?" the Gatekeeper inquired, as Screech opened the door with authority. "It was sooo damn good," he answered, before vanishing into the venue. "He's really dirty," the Gatekeeper said to us, as if confiding a secret. OK. We have to see this fucker. Paying the cover, we entered the venue. Inside, we took our seats at a tiny table near the right side of the stage. We could have sat dead center, but I figured that might be a little too risky. Who knows if Screech will attack? Comprising the audience was a gaggle of college-age gals, a few thirtysomething couples, and a contingent of older folks positioned on the opposite side as ourselves. The opening act was about as dull as one might expect. What does it say about your talent if you're warming up for Screech? Twenty bucks was beginning to seem like a real waste of money. Finally, Dustin took the stage. He immediately launched into a spiel about "Grandma porn," which was neither shocking nor provocative. The lamest part is that he kept anticipating differing reactions from the males and females in the crowd. "You guys know what I'm talking about," he'd say. "But you chicks are, like, ummm...." Wow. That's almost as funny as noting the differences between how white people and black people dance. He later told a convoluted tale about an old Jewish woman who happpened to catch one of his performances. Apparently, she enjoyed his rap about geriatric genitals. The story resolved itself in a "punch line" in which the elderly gal lifts up her skirt and yells, "Soup!" Don't ask me what the fuck that means, but he used it as as a "callback" throughout the set. At that point, a handful of the older folks in the crowd got up and left. "Where are you going?" Screech asked. "To take a shit?" Still not funny. Soon we were treated to the revelation that Mark-Paul Gosselaar (who played Zach on SBTB) was in fact, a homosexual. "All I'm sayin' is that Zach loves the cock," Screech said. "Trust the Dust." And there's another one: "Trust the Dust." What a sorry-ass catchphrase. It wasn't a total wash, however. Diamond had one really funny bit where he was mistaken for an employee at Wal-Mart by a less than brilliant customer. Said shopper implored him to "get back to the breakroom and put on an apron," which he did. Diamond summarily re-arranged the entire Bay Area store to his likings. "First things first: I put the Visine next to the Twinkies, where they belong," he said. For proof of his tale, he pulled a Wal-Mart apron from the bag he'd brought onstage. It seemed plausible enough, and showed the lengths to which Screech will go for his "comedy." Trust the Dust. At the end of the night, we headed for the restrooms, where a major line had developed due to a suspicious lack of porcelain. One of the employees, a stocky Mexican fella who looked like he'd stepped out of central casting for a spaghetti western, began to chat me up. "It's great you came in tonight," he said. "Yeah, it was fun," I replied. "So what's up with those old people walking out?" He asked me. "I dunno. I was on the other side of the crowd." "Well I guess they were Christians." "Really?" "Yeah, they came and gave me a hard time about how offended they were." "Wow." "Can you believe that?" "What I can't believe is why older folks who have conservative religious beliefs would even enter a comedy club." By that point I'd managed to complete my transaction. "I know, it man. Well, have a good one, buddy." In Brooke's bathroom line, the ladies expressed indignation at something entirely different. No, it wasn't Diamond's million references to feminine hygiene, or even his "Grandma porn" bit. It was the fact that "Zach" was gay. No one wanted to believe it. People are sad and ridiculous. Still, it was a fun night. You gotta admit, Screech is hardly who you'd expect me to go see in San Francisco. Supposedly Diamond has a TV comedy special coming up. At least that's what he says. And as you've learned, it's all about trust. Anyway, maybe you can catch a glimpse of "The Dust" in action. POSTSCRIPT: This isn't Dustin Diamond's home page. Apparently, he sued the webmaster. Unsuccessfully. This is. T the D, kiddies." |
| 12th July 2006 - 01:11:46 PM |
| 78464 : Kurt |
| Diamond, you went on the Howard Stern Show on June 13th and said that you were given 30 days to pay off your 0,000 land contract or you would be evicted. You own website http://www.getdshirts.com/the_story.php also lists this 30-day deadline. According to the Network Solutions registry database, http://www.networksolutions.com/whois , you registered your getdshirts.com domain name of June 6, 2006. June 6 was 36 days ago. Did you get evicted from your house or was your personal story nothing more than a bunch of crap? |
| 12th July 2006 - 01:44:30 PM |
| 78465 : Consipiracy_theorist |
| I think dustin has used escaped to a private island somewhere with all the money. |
| 12th July 2006 - 04:28:01 PM |
| 78466 : |
| I think Dustin used all the money to buy beef and cheddars to rub them onto his taint so he could unleash a bunch of mice out so they'll lick all the cheese off him. Apparently this is what he spent all his money on |
| 13th July 2006 - 12:03:26 AM |
| 78467 : Maxwell Nerdstrom |
| I think Dustin will use the money from his t-shirt fund to open a hot gay bar. He will finally come out of the closet and open the bar as a means of reparation after the many years of ignoring his queer fanbase. |
| 13th July 2006 - 05:03:17 AM |
| 78468 : queer makoto |
| LET'S GAY SEX!!!!!! |
| 13th July 2006 - 06:01:45 AM |
| 78469 : Big hairy bear |
| Does Corey Haim still post here? I wanna teabag him soooo bad! Then I'd give him a Russian trombone while we listen to the Backstreet Boys. Does he ever go to bathhouses? Corey if you're reading this, please reply, I have about 8 inches, uncut, very girthsome. |