| 25th May 2005 - 04:36:45 PM |
| 13767 : Turkish Jelqing Clubs |
| WE NEED MORE JELQING CLUBS IN TURKEY? YES OR NOT??? I just wanted to comment upon this statement, as I personally was involved in an Istanbuli jelqing club about four years ago, and it was ROUGH GOING. For example: those Turks there in Istanbul are hot and horny and ANYTHING goes with them, and to hell with any wives! Those guys would get together around the water pipe filled with hash and toke until they were ready to, so they said, JELQ....but damned if it didn't turn into an ass eating, arm-pit-licking, butt pounding, cock sucking orgy of pulsating Muslims. NOW I don't know about you reading this, but I have always thought that this was something against the Muslim religion and that the Koran doesn't look fondly upon homo activities. Well, I guess THAT went out with the wives because I've never seen so many guys into edging while screwing each other. One guy told me "I edge not with my fist but up inside my buddy's asshole". One guy would pile up onto of another, deep inside of his partner and working that brown canal like NO tomorrow....and then another guy who very roughly jelq the fuckee with such strokes that it would take a fourth partner just to hold this guy up as he was about to have his orgasm! The yelling and screams of wild unabandoned pleasure throughout the night was more than a turn on, and I have to admit that those few times I got INTO IT, I was relaxed for at least a week afterwards. Damn, those Muslims could really GET DOWN! Since that time I believe that the Muslims have created more clubs centered around those bath houses, hammam, that are ancient and lovely, marble structures if one doesn't slip on the cum everywhere and break a neck or bust a ball. I think I only went to these jelqing parties around 32 times before I realised that my cock wasn't getting any bigger but my balls were aching from the excessive edging and releases. SO AS FOR THIS NEW BUSH IDEA: President Bush has never had a good idea, and offering Jelqing Courses to the Arabs is like offering more bigotry to fundamentalist christians! Bush hasn't had one civilized idea since he was born. Let's not encourage him with anything more, and anything against yet another religion. |
| 25th May 2005 - 04:46:43 PM |
| 13768 : |
| 11012 : Dustin Hey guys. I just flew in from France and boy is my anus tired! My new line of clothing was modeled by muscle-bound studs, followed by the fourth annual Salad Toss Off. My boyfriend JP won for the second year in a row! Bon appetit! He almost got disqualified for using an illegal condiment (a lite honey-mustard), but the judges let him slide after they saw that he eats more ass than a ringworm. I'm very exited about my new line of clothing. Thanks to all the good folks at Zubaz Inc. Jan, Billy, you know who you are. Our most innovative product is our Jizz-Jeans. They resist stubborn protein stains, and they have a zipper in the back for quick, discreet anal adventures. They also have a large string of vibrating anal beads sewn right into the back seam, so you can wear them up your ass all day and nobody will suspect a thing! They will be available at Old Navy stores in time for Christmas. And look for the new Screech Signature Five-Speed Butt Dildo with Prostate Prodding Action. Available at Wal-11029 : Letters From An Asshole Yesterday, I received this heart-breaking letter in the mail: Nov. 14, 2004, It has now been ten days since I was violently shoved up the ass of former child actor Dustin Diamond. He has a surprisingly strong anus, which has imprisoned me. I'm beginning to run out of food, and the batteries in my flashlight are low. I'm very scared and lonely. Luckily, there is a mailbox inside his ass. If anybody is reading this, please help. I have tried to escape while Dustin was having a bowel movement, but my shoe got caught on a sphincter ring. I also tried to escape while someone named JP sucked Dustin's ass. He didn't suck hard enough. Every thirty minutes, I'm am sprayed with somebody's jism. This frightens me the most, as many diseases are easily transmitted through spunk, and poo, and of course blood. I have built a makeshift tent out of used condoms I found in the small intestine. I've gotten used to the horrible stench, but I'm scared that the large sewer rats will attack me. -A Small Retarded Boy |
| 25th May 2005 - 04:57:11 PM |
| 13769 : Wacky World of Wrestling |
| 11360 : Vince McManfucker All you Hulkamaniacs listen up! I want tight balls and meaty Jumbones, do you understand me?! USA!!! BALLS!!! I want fists pounding, cocks being sucked with cave-man enthusiasm, and Toby Keith CDs at FULL FUCKING BLAST!!! USA!! FARTS!!! I want sword fights, double penetration, and Karls and Lunches that are HOTTER THAN THE FUCKING SUN!!! I want spandex ripped, Zubaz torn, and assholes COMPLETELY OBLITERATED!!! I WANT A FOUR-HUNDRED POUND SAMOAN MAN TO FILL AN XXXL ADULT DIAPER WITH AS MUCH URINE AND FECES AS POSSIBLE, SO I CAN FUCK AND EAT HIS WARM LEAVINGS!!!! USA!!! DIAPERS!!!! LEAVINGS!!!! Also, I am a homosexual man. 11363 : The Hulkster Vince, you sexy motherfucker. Me and Macho Man Randy Savage and a bunch of random homeless guys are gonna grab ya and throw you in tha ring, and while Macho Man pins you to the canvas by sitting on your face, we're all gonna take turns shitting, pissing and cumming on your struggling form. And you're gonna like it, bitch. At the same time we will be rockin out to the strains of my classic 'Hulk Rules' album. Don't forget your motherfucking vitamins, bitch. 11365 : Macho Man Randy Savage SNAP INTO A SLICK DICK!!! UGH! I LOVE COCK MEAT!! THAT BEEFY JUICY TASTE!!! There's nothing better after a hard day of smoking crack and getting hit with chairs than hard dick! AM I RIGHT, MEN?! I love the stale-fish smell of a locker room full of hot sweaty dong sausages and pooter meats! YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT, LADIES!!! UGH!! My spandex is stretching more than Dustin's asshole at the pride parade! HELL YEAH!! I"M PUMPED UP NOW!! First I'm gonna look you in the eye, buddy, and then I'm gonna pin you down so hard, and then... I'M GONNA SHOVE MY TONGUE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE BURNING IN THE FIRES OF HELL, BUDDY!!!!!!! SLIP INTO MY RIM, JIM!!!!!! OHHH YEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 11367 : The Rock CAN YOU SMELLLELLELLELLL WHAT MY ANUS IS COOKING?! IT'S SEMEN!! MY ANUS IS COOKING SEMEN!!! ISN'T THAT CRAZY?! |
| 25th May 2005 - 05:04:03 PM |
| 13770 : |
| hypercolor tshirts were totally gay |
| 25th May 2005 - 05:19:00 PM |
| 13771 : Mario Lopez |
| Heyy, mang. Dusteen, mang, you are mi familia, essay. I'm not mad at chew, homes, but you need to help me clean all the crusty stains out of the back of mi el camino lowrider, essay. There's still lots of cum and blood and sheet from when you were munching my spicy bean-hole and I accidentally knocked your tooth out with one of my famously violent Mexi-farts. Call me, essay. |
| 25th May 2005 - 05:28:16 PM |
| 13772 : Jizzy-D |
| Yo Fiddy whaddup up G I hear ya ding-dongs is WHERE IT AT yo fag-rap is WHERE IT AT yo fo shizzy yo dem some booty-bompin' rhymz you droppin yo I'S OUT NIGGA. |
| 25th May 2005 - 05:33:53 PM |
| 13773 : Ra-moan |
| Hi Dusty, remember when I used to cut your hair for you out in L.A. and you'd pull your pants down and ask me to mow your man bush? We really had some fun times didn't we. Remember our little get away to San Francisco? We got so drunk and you made love to me and told me you wanted to get married, and I just laughed and told you that you were a great lay, but nothing else. Than you left crying and threatened to jump off the Golden Gate, so I talked you down and held you all night long as you listened to Back Street Boys. Do you still act like a little bitch? I'm glad to be rid of you, the only thing you had going was the hot man love, other than that I'd much prefer to take a steaming shit on you. |
| 25th May 2005 - 05:37:10 PM |
| 13774 : Don\'t shit on the floor again! |
| Don't shit on the floor again ! OK? |
| 25th May 2005 - 05:56:48 PM |
| 13775 : Poo Diddy |
| Yo, Fiddy! Dem rhymes ain't sheeit biotch! I heard you ain't even really gay. I challenge you to a battle. I was the gayest and I was the first I'm up in more asses than an enema nurse I got the mega smegma in the Zubaz pants for the gay scat play and the pee pee dance I got everything that a REAL fag needs leather pants butt plugs and booty beads so spread dem cheeks, bitch you know what you like I'll toss yo salad like I stole yo... |
| 25th May 2005 - 06:32:37 PM |
| 13776 : Gay-Z |
| Yo yo YO. You wack-ass nigz ain't got SHIT on me. I's OF, Original Faggot, see. I be droppin' da phat beatz while you nigz is still in yo Fat Albert jimmy-jams. Sheeit. Drop a OLD-skool beat. Mah dick's 12 inch 'n' it comin' your way When it come to rimmin' I'm the gayest of the gay Don't be perpatratin', playa hatin' I cut yo ass if I catch you masturbatin' |
| 25th May 2005 - 07:46:15 PM |
| 13777 : |
| 25th May 2005 - 07:47:56 PM |
| 13778 : Fagbusters |
| ALL RAPPERS ARE FAGS... THE ALMIGHTY TOLD ME SO. |
| 25th May 2005 - 07:53:09 PM |
| 13779 : Taintmaster Felch |
| What is dis Mickey Mouse bitch nigga bullshit?! All y'all be rhymin' cheaper then a sevendy five cent cock ring on a fiddy cent rent boy BEEEITCH! Yo, DJ Bukkake Beatz, drop it on these broke ass chumps! I munch stanky cracks and slobber on nut sacks I'm a shit-smeared all out fag and dat's dat I got lotsa V.D. and genital warts A yellow bandana 'cuz I like water sports I'm butt rapin' MC's with sickle cell disease My anus stretches like elastic on yo BVDs I fuck frat boys leather boys junkies and bums I smoke dicks not blunts and drink forties of cum!!!!!!!!!! Y'all straight-made bitches need to take yo asses back to school, nig tizzle! Dayamn! I'm 'bout to rock a remote southern truck stop. Y'all suckas be jerkin' an' slurpin' in da minor leagues, BUT TAINTMASTER FELCH IS BIG TIME, BEEEEITCH! |
| 25th May 2005 - 08:36:43 PM |
| 13780 : Feminem |
| Dayamn! |
| 25th May 2005 - 08:51:10 PM |
| 13781 : Feminem |
| Imagine... If you only had one chance... Lose yourself in my anus, in the gayness, yo, you better lube it till it's loose... I munch pooter, get deep in yo ass like Roto Rooter It's Feminem, bitch, the gay rappin' semen shooter Sperm is on my breath, pubes are in between my teeth I wear diapers cuz my fuckered anus always leaks I'm peepin' Screech and he makes me catch a big erection I'll rip his Zubaz to get a hot Kosher meat injection Fuck dem condoms, Feminem don't use protection It makes me cum more when I know I'll get a new infection Lose yourself in my anus, the gayness, yo, you better lube it till it's loose. Lose yourself in the V.D.s, the D.P.s, yo, you better shoot me with some juice. Bitch. |
| 25th May 2005 - 11:44:39 PM |
| 13782 : Ox |
| Screech, remember that episode where you went to Mr. Belding's office and told him that you were so uncertain about the direction of your life? Remember when you told him that you were so depressed because you had just received a C+ in gym class. Remember how distraught you were as you opened up to Mr. B? Remember when he told you that he had a secret to tell you that would have a major impact on your life? Remember when you begged him to tell and finally he did, telling you that his pubic hair could predict the future? Remember when you initially didn't believe him? Remember when he hugged you with his chubby middle-aged arms and you believed him? Remember when he dropped trow and told you to move your face next to his penis? Remember how his penis smelled liked baked tortillas? Remember when he told you that your future would be clear if you sucked on his nuts and let him buttslam you? Remember how this was your first willing homosexual experience, after having been butt raped by Zack's dad and the boys in your gym class many times before? Remember when you relelvented to Belding's badgering, finally agreeing to let him dunk his nuts in your mouth for 30 minutes and then let him have unprotected buttsex with you for another hour? Remember when he pulled his penis out of your love hole and blew his load in your poofy afro? Remember when he asked if you were able to repdict anything about your future now? Remember when you said that you couldn't? Remember when Belding said "well, now I can predict YOUR future, FAGGOT!!! YOU'RE GONNA GET AIDS! I JUST UNLEASED MY HIV+ BODILY FLUIDS IN YOUR TITGHT BUTTHOLE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!" Rememebr when you went to the free clinic a week later and relaized that Mr. belding's prediciton had come true? You sure got screwed over that time!!! |
| 26th May 2005 - 12:17:25 AM |
| 13783 : |
| screech u suk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| 26th May 2005 - 04:28:43 AM |
| 13784 : Fagbusters |
| YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, OX. |
| 26th May 2005 - 07:10:19 AM |
| 13785 : OX, did you shit on the floor? |
| OX, did you shit on the floor? |
| 26th May 2005 - 08:39:11 AM |
| 13786 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Fellow faggots, check out the guestbook for this Japanese guy: http://www.generation.nl/~hitoshi/gb/hitoshi.php Hitoshi's guestbook has been queered up almost as much as Diamond's! - Kurt Steinberg |