| 11th July 2006 - 02:57:14 PM |
| 78457 : |
| http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/1081/screechshirt0eu.jpg |
| 11th July 2006 - 03:15:35 PM |
| 78458 : Gay Zack |
| Hey Jimmy, would you like to pump my ass with HIV+ semen? If you fucked Screeches ass, you no doubt have the AIDS virus. |
| 11th July 2006 - 06:32:18 PM |
| 78459 : |
| Hey Diamond, did Belding always bellow like a hippo every time he blew his load down your throat? I read some "remember when" stories where that happened. |
| 11th July 2006 - 07:03:41 PM |
| 78460 : johnny |
| What's all this I'm hearing about DUSTIN DIAMOND's schlong?? He has a ten-incher?? IN HIS DREAMS!!! SCREECH has a tiny 2 incher, and everyone knows it! |
| 11th July 2006 - 07:34:16 PM |
| 78461 : Rocco |
| Diamond, I heard that after your appearance on the view you went out and celebrated by picking up a few ratty homeless guys in the limo the View had provided you. I heard that you took their smelly bum asses back to the seedy hotel you were staying in with the one and only Mr. Belding! I heard that the two of you celebrated your success on the View by sniffing glue and having a wild homoerotic orgy with the bums. Is it true that you paid one of the bums 5 dollars to eat a bunch of Taco Bell then spray you with the diareah so you could feel like Slater was with you? Sounds hot, hope you filmed it you hook nosed toilet waste! ROCCO |
| 12th July 2006 - 12:15:47 AM |
| 78462 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, has anyone ever eaten Mexican food from Chipotle and then given you a face-full of feces? Or is it always Taco Bell-fueled diarrhea? I would think that Slater and Belding would want to mix things up a bit, but I just want to be certain. Please get back to me soon, buddy, as this is an important and serious question! |
| 12th July 2006 - 12:31:29 AM |
| 78463 : Kurt Steinberg |
| The comments to this blog need to be queered up: http://7d.blogs.com/solidstate/2006/07/diamonds_are_fo.html "Diamonds are Forever. I'm planning on putting together a full San Francisco update, but for the meantime, dig this: Brooke and I were hanging out on the docks (no jokes please) when we happened upon a sidewalk sign for some comedy club called the Green Room. Neither of us had actually ever been to such a place, but that's beside the point. What really caught our attention (actually Brooke's) was the picture on the marquee. "Is that Screech?" she asked, squeezing my arm. Indeed, it was. Dustin Diamond, star of TV's "Saved by the Bell" was staring back at us from the board. The show, which featured only one opening act, started at 8:30 p.m. At that moment it was around 6. While I was intrigued by the idea of checking out Screech's stand-up, we had some time to kill, and I was getting hungry. "Let's go get something to eat first, and if we're feeling up to it, maybe we can go see the show," I said. It was agreed. Dinner was consumed, and margaritas guzzled. Walking back past the club, we again paused before Diamond's unmistakable visage. I was still on the fence, but Brooke pushed me over it with gusto. "We have to go see him," she said. "If we don't, we'll end up torturing ourselves wondering what it was like." She had a point. We weaved through the human detritus to the club entrance, where a gussied-up chick was standing behind some kind of podium. This was the Gatekeeper. Suddenly it dawned on me that this was a real show, where they, like, charge admission. "What if it's too expensive?" I asked Brooke. "Should we set a limit?" she replied. We decided on twenty bucks, which turned out to be the ticket price. Kinda steep. But at that moment Screech himself walked by. "How was your hamburger?" the Gatekeeper inquired, as Screech opened the door with authority. "It was sooo damn good," he answered, before vanishing into the venue. "He's really dirty," the Gatekeeper said to us, as if confiding a secret. OK. We have to see this fucker. Paying the cover, we entered the venue. Inside, we took our seats at a tiny table near the right side of the stage. We could have sat dead center, but I figured that might be a little too risky. Who knows if Screech will attack? Comprising the audience was a gaggle of college-age gals, a few thirtysomething couples, and a contingent of older folks positioned on the opposite side as ourselves. The opening act was about as dull as one might expect. What does it say about your talent if you're warming up for Screech? Twenty bucks was beginning to seem like a real waste of money. Finally, Dustin took the stage. He immediately launched into a spiel about "Grandma porn," which was neither shocking nor provocative. The lamest part is that he kept anticipating differing reactions from the males and females in the crowd. "You guys know what I'm talking about," he'd say. "But you chicks are, like, ummm...." Wow. That's almost as funny as noting the differences between how white people and black people dance. He later told a convoluted tale about an old Jewish woman who happpened to catch one of his performances. Apparently, she enjoyed his rap about geriatric genitals. The story resolved itself in a "punch line" in which the elderly gal lifts up her skirt and yells, "Soup!" Don't ask me what the fuck that means, but he used it as as a "callback" throughout the set. At that point, a handful of the older folks in the crowd got up and left. "Where are you going?" Screech asked. "To take a shit?" Still not funny. Soon we were treated to the revelation that Mark-Paul Gosselaar (who played Zach on SBTB) was in fact, a homosexual. "All I'm sayin' is that Zach loves the cock," Screech said. "Trust the Dust." And there's another one: "Trust the Dust." What a sorry-ass catchphrase. It wasn't a total wash, however. Diamond had one really funny bit where he was mistaken for an employee at Wal-Mart by a less than brilliant customer. Said shopper implored him to "get back to the breakroom and put on an apron," which he did. Diamond summarily re-arranged the entire Bay Area store to his likings. "First things first: I put the Visine next to the Twinkies, where they belong," he said. For proof of his tale, he pulled a Wal-Mart apron from the bag he'd brought onstage. It seemed plausible enough, and showed the lengths to which Screech will go for his "comedy." Trust the Dust. At the end of the night, we headed for the restrooms, where a major line had developed due to a suspicious lack of porcelain. One of the employees, a stocky Mexican fella who looked like he'd stepped out of central casting for a spaghetti western, began to chat me up. "It's great you came in tonight," he said. "Yeah, it was fun," I replied. "So what's up with those old people walking out?" He asked me. "I dunno. I was on the other side of the crowd." "Well I guess they were Christians." "Really?" "Yeah, they came and gave me a hard time about how offended they were." "Wow." "Can you believe that?" "What I can't believe is why older folks who have conservative religious beliefs would even enter a comedy club." By that point I'd managed to complete my transaction. "I know, it man. Well, have a good one, buddy." In Brooke's bathroom line, the ladies expressed indignation at something entirely different. No, it wasn't Diamond's million references to feminine hygiene, or even his "Grandma porn" bit. It was the fact that "Zach" was gay. No one wanted to believe it. People are sad and ridiculous. Still, it was a fun night. You gotta admit, Screech is hardly who you'd expect me to go see in San Francisco. Supposedly Diamond has a TV comedy special coming up. At least that's what he says. And as you've learned, it's all about trust. Anyway, maybe you can catch a glimpse of "The Dust" in action. POSTSCRIPT: This isn't Dustin Diamond's home page. Apparently, he sued the webmaster. Unsuccessfully. This is. T the D, kiddies." |
| 12th July 2006 - 01:11:46 PM |
| 78464 : Kurt |
| Diamond, you went on the Howard Stern Show on June 13th and said that you were given 30 days to pay off your 0,000 land contract or you would be evicted. You own website http://www.getdshirts.com/the_story.php also lists this 30-day deadline. According to the Network Solutions registry database, http://www.networksolutions.com/whois , you registered your getdshirts.com domain name of June 6, 2006. June 6 was 36 days ago. Did you get evicted from your house or was your personal story nothing more than a bunch of crap? |
| 12th July 2006 - 01:44:30 PM |
| 78465 : Consipiracy_theorist |
| I think dustin has used escaped to a private island somewhere with all the money. |
| 12th July 2006 - 04:28:01 PM |
| 78466 : |
| I think Dustin used all the money to buy beef and cheddars to rub them onto his taint so he could unleash a bunch of mice out so they'll lick all the cheese off him. Apparently this is what he spent all his money on |
| 13th July 2006 - 12:03:26 AM |
| 78467 : Maxwell Nerdstrom |
| I think Dustin will use the money from his t-shirt fund to open a hot gay bar. He will finally come out of the closet and open the bar as a means of reparation after the many years of ignoring his queer fanbase. |
| 13th July 2006 - 05:03:17 AM |
| 78468 : queer makoto |
| LET'S GAY SEX!!!!!! |
| 13th July 2006 - 06:01:45 AM |
| 78469 : Big hairy bear |
| Does Corey Haim still post here? I wanna teabag him soooo bad! Then I'd give him a Russian trombone while we listen to the Backstreet Boys. Does he ever go to bathhouses? Corey if you're reading this, please reply, I have about 8 inches, uncut, very girthsome. |
| 13th July 2006 - 06:49:08 AM |
| 78470 : The Bank |
| The money Mr Diamond has so far produced from the sales of merchandise online have allready been spent. It has came to our attention that Diamonds fiance demanded that Diamond race down to the local Arby's in his Yugo car and get her some beef and cheddars. However, Diamond was caught red handed trying to leave without paying, and was fined most of the money made so far. The remaining {ENTRY}.33 was stolen from Diamond by a 4 year old Mexican boy, who knee-capped Diamond and left a large sample of faeces on Mr Diamond's chest. |
| 13th July 2006 - 09:12:12 AM |
| 78471 : JM. J. Bullock |
| Screech, remember when we hooked up and I fired a liter of HIV+ seed down your throat, and then dropped a deuce in your hair? Well I'm backed up as fuck and I haven't taken a dump in a week...so call me, faggot!! |
| 13th July 2006 - 01:42:57 PM |
| 78472 : Dr. Wurnstrum |
| Is it true that Dustin is actually using the money he gets from the T-shirts for the new one a day AIDS pill? If so, he is being very dishonest and needs to come clean on his website. |
| 13th July 2006 - 02:36:30 PM |
| 78473 : Captain Jean Luc Picard |
| O RLY? |
| 13th July 2006 - 03:28:47 PM |
| 78474 : Rocco |
| Last night I dreamed that Dustin became homeless and I allowed him to live in my closet as a very cheap rent boy. I fed him a diet of turds and semen and had many of my friends over where he was spitroasted amoung many other fine acts!!! He was as happy as he'd ever been and yelled, "zoinks" every time I rubbed my taint all over his jew fro which I brushed and semenized daily. It was a magical dream. Hopefully one day soon it comes true!!! ROCCO |
| 13th July 2006 - 05:06:24 PM |
| 78475 : Gay Zack |
| Dustin can you please address this. I've heard that Jennifer has down syndrome, thats why she lost the baby and that's why she's all fat and ugly. I also heard that you are her caretaker and are in charge of her SSI. I also heard that you've been posing as her fiancee and robbing her of all her money, only buying her enough beef and cheddars to keep her quiet. I heard you've been spending that money on gay hookers and coke. You should come clean Dustin. This poor retarded girl doesn't deserve to be treated like that. Does she drool like a mongoloid? Did you actually have sex with the retard? I bet you didn't, I bet you were fucking some homeless guys, threw out your condom in the garbage, she found it, inserted it and got your seed that way.This really is a new low for you Dustin. You should have just come out, gotten some hot young stud and fall into a heavy drug addiction, dying young to become a legend. |
| 13th July 2006 - 06:46:54 PM |
| 78476 : Kurt |
| Hey Diamond, I've been watching episodes of Saved By The Bell: The College Years on a DVD I received from Netflix recently. Those epsiodes totally suck ass, mainly because of you. Remember when Slater and Zack were going to join the "cool" frat and you screwed up everything by accompanying them to the frat party and making balloon animals? What in the hell were you thinking, Diamond? That sounds like the type of moronic thing you would probably do in real life. Thanks for ruining the show. :( |