| 01st August 2004 - 08:36:06 PM |
| 9353 : Jimmy, waiting for my MAN |
| Oh, hi there. Glad you could stop by. It’s been such a roller coaster ride around here on account of all the babies coming and going, so it’s real nice to have somebody to talk to. You don’t mind if I stay seated here on the bed, do you? With all these fertility hormones coursing through my veins, standing upright tends to make me vomit and tip over. The last time I tried I fell through my old jewelry armoire, broke my vanity mirror and took ten stitches. It was awful. I mean, an accident like that could wipe out three or four embryos at once. So yeah, from now until I get pregnant again, I’m just sort of stuck here on the bed watching television and waiting for Steve to come home from work to have sex with me and give me food. Which is another reason I’m glad you’re here to keep me company - well, that is until Steve gets here on his lunch break in another half an hour. |
| 01st August 2004 - 08:46:34 PM |
| 9354 : Mystery Loves some Vomit, right? Twyla Turd!! |
| Authorities issued a warrant to spank pop star Michael Jackson on Wednesday as sheriff's deputies finished stealing everything from his central California Neverland Ranch in an unspecified criminal investigation dealing with the abuse of makeup and the tools used on little boys for 'cosmetic surgery' and circumcisions, all not needed. One mother stated to the press, "My son was already circumcised twice; now with Mr. Jackson's 'work, I don't think my son has a penis left". A spokesman for the police department in Las Vegas, where Jackson has been staying for the past three weeks behind bars and tied down in a straight-jacket while producing a racket of love-making with the little boys in his cell, said California authorities issued an arrest warrant for the singer and were negotiating with his mini-prostate on the terms of his nose-job. The spokeswoman, Mamacita Montoya, did not specify the charges in the arrest warrant against Jackson and said her department would not be involved in serving the dinner or even at breakfast where various sexual activities take place under the table. Banana sucking was freqently practiced. In 1994, Jackson reached a multimillion-dollar out-of-court settlement with the family of a 14-year-old boy who accused him of "not letting me get completely off; Michael would yell at me that if I shot that goo again, I'd ruin his sheets and wallpaper. I was a wreck". A criminal investigation of that case was closed without charges being brought, and Jackson had the boy chopped into insy-binsy pieces of meat for his pet cobra. "We've seen this before, and those little boys have learned so much just being here in bed with Michael; how he shows them about life and about 'riding the rapids' as he says when they enter his rear for a wild ride; our response is 'Here we go again with some hot gravy;' Michael has 24-hour-a-day supervision, sort of like a vision, but a bodyguard to also gives rim jobs, with him for the specific reason to protect him from bad vibrations and funny jokes about severed dick heads," Jackson family attorney Brian Oxshid told NBC "Hold Your Nuts, DUDES". Whacko-Jacko slashed out at the "rogues' gallery of perverts and sperm sources" who dominated the toilet bowls on Tuesday speculating on the difference between Falwell and turds. No decision reached. "These characters always seem to surface with a dreadful allegation just as another piece of ass is about to loosen and "in we go for another warm, brown joy-ride", an album of cocks, a video of bondage and torture and Sodomy, is being released into the sewage system," Jackson said in the statement about his love of Life. The search warrant was executed on the day that a new greatest hits collection was released, featuring Jackson's latest single, "One More FUCK." Sheriff's deputies and officials from the Santa Barbara District Attorney's office completed the enema convention, which began on Tuesday morning with shit flying all over the place. Jackson has a theme-park with prostate rides and a zoo there where little boys sit on his face and fart. It's called the 'camel ride'. The Celebrity Justice TV SHOW said the therapist felt compelled to report the information to authorities under a California law requiring any guy with an erection and stiff nuts be arrested by the local police and spanked until ready for college. It has been a tumultuous year for Jackson, whose talents as an entertainer have been eclipsed by his bizarre personal life in a multi-level tree house. One event, Michael being raped by his monkey: that caused troubles. In February, he revealed in a British television documentary that he sometimes shared his Neverland bedroom with young boys all standing so erect and shooting all over the place.In November last year, Jackson stunned fans and amused thousands of mothers in Berlin by dangling his bareass baby from a hotel balcony, letting the newborn piss on those below. In June, he settled a million breach of diahrrea lawsuit by his former topless boy-toy, Jim-Boob, avoiding a trial that threatened to expose details of his very small penis. |
| 01st August 2004 - 08:55:00 PM |
| 9355 : |
| what do vampires have to do with dustin diamond or saved by the bell??? twyla 16, leave immediately and do not return! take ugoff with you. i've never seen you post anything about sticking your penis into diamond or giving him a stanley steamer - so leave and never return. |
| 01st August 2004 - 08:59:08 PM |
| 9356 : Twyla 16 |
| Here;s a poem for you assholes who do not love me...take it and shove it. I'm only 16 and a good little cuntie, so shove off!!! Dense cologne spray on testicles of Love Amongst trailing side cabinets in my anal canal Desert of Parched skin and peanuts Hollow goosed quick-steps to the tune of Oregonian ball games Through looky-loo fubster-pads at the back. Tunneling into toilet bowl through your mind, Linguistic Bombastic poetry for my holes Cynical rapists leaning on the sludge Strained penmanship through white stained walls Botanical stares through one's sphincters to Analyse this opera of sun and processes and nerds. Enter the illegal affection of Peussie Tone down the smells of palace fartings Stumble upon a dead body and fuck the daylights, Lights jupiters away like a major stoner, Penis and more penis of progress Intertwine the rosemary blend of super-weed. Synergied dance puckers and nasty slaves Sporting a prefab romance factory And strobe neon tongue-tied nipple torture Filtered through tomorrow's weirder songs of remorse Accused groans and goodness prayers to Mary Mount, Follied, fuckered, factoid dribbler if ever there was one? Vogued periodicals of Piss, dripping from your mouth Blessed Jesus, who sinned just once too much for the Dutch Over intrigued proportions of the clutch Just dallied precisely with my balls To maim and play with goiter-gals in style. Follow your fellows allowed to determine their worth Instructed to deepen a wound of my asshole's thrust To mound a fuller disease of delight and mirth I institute a new jeep of wax and girth And empty a canopy of dismay and afterbirth. |
| 01st August 2004 - 09:45:37 PM |
| 9357 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Twyla 16, why are you still here? This is a message board for gay fans of Dustin Diamond and Saved By The Bell. Queers come here looking for gay fanatasies to read while masturbating. In fact, my computer creen is currently coated with many, many loads lost while reading fanatsies posted here. However, your messages unnecessarily clog this message board, making it more difficult to find erotic material. I beg you, please leave and never return. This is a queers-only (MALE queers, that is) message board! - Kurt Steinberg |
| 01st August 2004 - 09:58:44 PM |
| 9358 : Becca |
| Whoever reads this...I saw dustin doing standup in my hometown Louisville, this past week. He is cool as shit and was pretty funny. I would really love to hang out sometime. Please come back to Louisville. You were great! Email me. |
| 01st August 2004 - 10:18:22 PM |
| 9359 : |
| http://www.fundandedutain.com/chess.htm |
| 01st August 2004 - 10:33:55 PM |
| 9360 : Ugoff |
| Please. I am Ugoff. |
| 01st August 2004 - 11:03:48 PM |
| 9361 : stevie |
| double dog, how's mr. belding and slater? did you like to run your fingers through slater's permed mullet? did you like to run the tip of your penis through slater's permed mullet? |
| 01st August 2004 - 11:26:09 PM |
| 9362 : |
| dennis haskins, please post more messages like 9260. that was so erotic. did you used to post those 'remember when' fantasies? those were great. please post more episode summaries. you must have time to post more, seeing as how the new class is off the air. |
| 02nd August 2004 - 12:06:02 AM |
| 9363 : Ugoff |
| Please. I am Ugoff. |
| 02nd August 2004 - 03:21:16 AM |
| 9364 : Ryan |
| Hey nobodies IMed me about how gay screech is? Polak4Zycie |
| 02nd August 2004 - 07:49:20 AM |
| 9365 : Lusting for Dusting |
| I also pitched a tent that could easily have housed a large family after reading Dennis Haskins' little anecdote in 9260 - the thought of Dennis repeatedly ramming his massive ding-dong into Dustin's increasingly bloody anus gave me a woodrow like you wouldn't have thought possible! More please, Den-Den! |
| 02nd August 2004 - 09:01:10 AM |
| 9366 : Michael Jackson |
| Dusty, I'm very displeased that you haven't responded to my message (9291). Am I to assume that you have suppressed the memories? Cha'mone! |
| 02nd August 2004 - 12:21:54 PM |
| 9367 : Ugoff |
| Please. I am Ugoff. |
| 02nd August 2004 - 12:35:12 PM |
| 9368 : Bukkake Ken |
| Diamond-san! I am need to know if you will want star in me new filmm! See message 9293! Please to letting me know! I cannot waiting to drench you with my steaming man-wasabi! |
| 02nd August 2004 - 12:38:44 PM |
| 9369 : Gay Zack |
| I must spill my man gravy all over you dear sweet Dustin. Dennis' story really got me dripping with pre-cum, as I licked the ejaculate off my fingers I inserted 3 fingers into my ass and watched my SBTB DVD's. I came like never before - I let out a loud shriek so loud that the cops came over. They found me naked fingering myself and they joined in. I was getting head while giving head to another officer while taking it in the ass from the chief, who came over when he heard of a game bang. We all watched Saved By the Bell while we had a good ol' fashioned Greek Orgy. |
| 02nd August 2004 - 01:26:00 PM |
| 9370 : therockman_2006@yahoo.com |
| hi how r u my name is samer iam from iraq and i like u and i like your songs and i wish to recived my message ..send me message ...bayyyyy |
| 02nd August 2004 - 01:46:29 PM |
| 9371 : Ugoff |
| Please. I am Ugoff. |
| 02nd August 2004 - 02:09:43 PM |
| 9372 : Corey Haim |
| Bruckheimer, you are a faggot loser! Just because I wouldnt let you direct Fart Patrol- "The Final Frontier" you come in here and try to start shit. You know that Double D and I only like the ladies. So do a brother a favor and hook us up with a double team on Keira Knightly! PEACE, C. Haim |